It amazes me how family behavioral traits can continue for generations. The women on my mother ‘s side of the family are strong and independent women. I would imagine it has a lot to do with the fact that there were more girls than boys so my mother and her sisters had to do the same work as their brothers. My grandparents had nine children, seven girls and two boys. Can you imagine living with that much estrogen? Bless my grandparents. My girl cousins and I definitely inherited this independent trait. We are all flourishing in our own stages of life, and we do so on our own terms
Being independent is not a bad thing if properly balanced with the understanding that you can’t do everything by yourself. At almost 40, I’m just starting to understand that I can’t be an island even if it seems natural to me. I’m an only child so I’m used to being by myself and it doesn’t bother me. It might seem strange to others, but I greatly enjoy solitude. When I worked from home solitude became an unhealthy state of living. I would realize I hadn’t interacted with a live person in weeks and then I would have to force myself leave the house. I was well on my way to becoming a hermit. Going back to the office was the best decision for me mentally, emotionally, and professionally.
It’s going to take me a while to fully grasp the concept of asking for help but I am learning. I’m going to say yes to asking for help. I’m going to say yes to not thinking that asking for help is a sign of weakness. I’m going to say yes to understanding that being an island actually makes your life less pleasurable. I’ve reaped the benefits of asking for help in the last few weeks. After struggling to keep my house in order due to long days at work, I decided to hire someone to clean my house once a month. Instead of spending my Saturdays cleaning for hours, I can take a few minutes to spruce up each week and leave the heavy cleaning to the experts. At first I believed this was lazy, but when some broke down the cost benefits of me hiring someone versus doing it myself it just made sense. Now I can spend my Saturday mornings at the coffee house writing instead of dusting. By saying yes to asking for help, I was able to get my new television safely into my house with the help of a friend versus trying to carry the box by myself and possibly shattering the screen. Saying yes at work allowed me to finish working on a project in less time than anticipated because I asked for help from someone who was familiar with the task required to close the project. While asking for help is an uncomfortable feeling for me, I can no longer live on my island. I need help. I need people. Yes, yes, yes…I’m saying yes, help me please